This year I want to be fun again. There has been so much seriousness in my life that I think a little fun is needed.

This year, I want to blog more. I want my knitting site & my cooking site to be sites that people read. I want to make people fall in love with delicious food (and heck, some cakes!). I want people to knit some of the hats I design, instead of hogging those designs for myself.

This year, I want to run again. And while, unlike some of the other goals, this one is a little less determined by my own will power, I am going to make it happen. A 5k in August anyone?

This year, I am going to lose the last of the weight. I just have a little more to lose and I want to get it done.

This year, I am going to be creative everyday. And no, that does not include making dinner. I have plenty of creativity to go around. I need to make good use of it.

This year, I am going to finish my second children’s book. I wrote the story and have half of the illustrations ready, it is time to get the rest done.

This year, I am going to stay on top of the laundry. It is my most hated chore. So, I am going to make an effort to do laundry a little more frequently so it is never so much of a drag agian.

I have to tell you, I am getting desperate. I don’t sleep much. I can’t think clearly, whether or not I take what was prescribed for me.

Since it is only temporary, they aren’t implanting the pump, so I will probably have  a really cool fanny pack. Actually, I might be disappointed if I don’t get a fanny pack to bedazzle or remake into something nifty.

I know I won’t be sleeping, I am nervous about the surgery on top of my typical insomnia, so I am really hoping to make it through work tomorrow. (I know people have questions, so you can ask them anonymously on formspring & I will answer.)

The good news is that Knitdea is starting to have some decent posting activity & Frannycakes will be ready to go after the weekend! I am super excited! And, combined with the actual activities that I am writing about, I have some good distractions while I wait to see if this surgery works.

I have a new job. In a down economy, I am working. I am working somewhere that I can make a difference. I am working somewhere that I am liked.

My family supports me. The call me when it has been more than a couple days without a call. They answer the phone when I need someone to talk to. My mom sits and listens to me cry. And then she tells me to suck it up, be a big girl and buckle down. (FYI mom, I hate it when you talk sense into me). They take me to the doctor. To every appointment. They never let me go alone. Someone holds my hand for every IV stick. Every time a doctor tells me something I don’t want to hear, I have a shoulder to lean on. Oh, and mom makes me food. Delicious gluten-free food. Dad provides on-call IT support. (Frankly, I need a lot of it).

I have a boyfriend that loves me. Despite the ups and downs. The tears for no reason. The nights spent in because I just can’t bear to go out. Heck, even eats the culinary experiments that turn out not quite right. (These don’t happen all that often…I swear!). And then he lies and says they were delicious. He tells me I am beautiful even when I feel like a mess. He calls me to make sure the drugs didn’t cause me to oversleep. He just keeps talking when I can’t find the words for conversation when the day took my last bit of energy out of me.

Some days I do go to bed crying, and some days I can’t sleep. But that is only some days. The days that matter are the ones I go to sleep smiling. The ones that make me believe that tomorrow will be better, that I am not in this fight alone.

So, thank you for believing in me. And thank you for giving me a chance. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your love & support. All of you. Friends & family alike. I know you all have your own crosses to bear so the fact that you take the time to help me with mine has not gone unnoticed.

So imagine my non-surprise at bumping my leg on my boyfriend’s coffee table. Heck, my legs frequently have bruises on them from bumping into things or tripping. (Why yes, I am a klutz).  Well, 10 months, 8 nerve blocks and several narcotics later, I am having a temporary drug pump implanted. I will have it for 6 weeks.

Oh, you didn’t know I was not doing well? I am pretty darn good at keeping a smile on my face even when I would rather someone just chop off my leg. I am suffering from CRPS (which is what they now call RSD). I feel like my leg is being seared in a nice hot skillet all day, every day. Riding in cars & buses makes it worse. But, surprisingly, high heels make it feel better.

I am not getting my hopes up, after all my last doctor said that the nerve blocks would work and I would be back to running. Heck, the orthopedist said that after I hurt my knee. The good news here is that I have a new doctor. One that was honest and claimed no magic bullet. I was nervous when my insurance changed because I had to change doctors, how was I supposed to know that the change was a good thing? I had an extremely intelligent doctor at Rush. But now I have an extremely intelligent doctor who explains things to me. Gives me information in words I understand.

This is what I know now:

• I am in pain and no one knows how to cure it.
• There are many different ways to try to treat the pain, and different ones work for different people.
• There is more to treating this condition than drugs & procedures. I should try some homeopathic treatments too.
• Nothing is a magic bullet, but there is hope for pain free days.

To get through this, I have stopped doing web design for clients. It is too much stress. I started knitting again and I started cooking with reckless abandon. I am baking at least once a week and cooking as often as I can (since I am just one person, I frequently have leftovers).

So, now you know.

I was told by one of my employees that I must have an exciting life because of all the things I do at home. I am not sure that is necessarily true, but I will take it as reason to post more than I have been.

This week’s dinners have been lamer than normal, but I did make a fabulous butternut squash gnocchi with rosemary brown butter & asiago cheese. Other than that, I made chili, a casserole and salads. The casserole & chili were kind of ugly, but they tasted delicious.

Soon, all of my cooking will be posted on frannycakes.com. Hey, you’ve gotta eat, so why not make it taste good?

I found out this week that I have to have a surgery. While the nerve blocks were surgical procedures that would knock me out for a day or two, this is one of those that requires an overnight stay. It is a drug pump trial. I will have it in for 6 weeks. If it works on my leg, they will implant a permanent one.

And, for some good news? My passport arrived in the mail yesterday! I paid for expediting and it was here in a week and a half, not the 3 weeks that I was told.  There are 17 days left until I leave for Munich with Paul. I have been on the hunt for gluten free restaurants there, and have found a few. Hooray!

Now, I am off to work to spend some time in the office to make up some time that I am going to lose from all of the appointments and this vacation!

My portfolio also won an awesomeness award. Because, well, I am awesome.

Original Moxie has now launched as my portfolio site, and all that will live here is this little blog of mine.

It has been a busy couple of weeks, and I cannot wait to finish up a couple of client sites so that I can focus on finding a full time job.

New York, here comes Mary Fran

I leave for my first vacation in quite a few years tomorrow.  I haven’t been on a plane since an interview with Google in Ann Arbor, MI (yes, I had the poor taste to accept such a ridiculous interveiw).  And, I have to admit that I am a wee bit nervous.  I was going to try to pack in a carry-on sized bag.  Ha!  My camera equipment doesn’t fit in my laptop bag.  And, I swear I am only bringing one lens, one DSLR and one little point & shoot digital. And only one moderately sized laptop so that I can work while on “vacation”. If I do enough work, does the travel become a work expense?  I guess we will see on that one – and I will have to re-think my packing.

I went to a fantastic networking event in Rosemont last night and actually enjoyed it.  Normally I do not like talking to professionals, as I do not usually feel grown up enough or accomplished enough to speak to other professionals as equals.  But, I did it, and it was really great.  I will probably keep going to them because, other than the most expensive diet coke I have purchased, it was great to actually have conversations with people, rather than just e-mail them or twitter them.

I am actually quite excited about getting started (can you tell, this post is a little ramle-y)!  But I also have some other projects on the table…A blog at AndThenIwasLike and the e-commerce at RubberOrGlueTees.com  I will also be building a blog at Ed Wiley & Associates.  Not to mention the super-secret (?) coding I am doing for a firm in the foreign land of Kansas.  Whew.

Alright. Time to go get a twitter for the new venture.

Well, let me tell you I am facing this very dilemma. I want to start my own web design venture, because frankly, it is a tough world out there. Permanent jobs are hard to come by and unless they are with a design firm, the options for creativity are limited. I mean really, how many different ways can you display a park bench when the boss insists on the same style that has been used for the past 15 years? So, I am going out on my own, at least to supplement my income for the time being. I have the skills. I have heard from several people that I can do this, so here goes.

But, I need a name. One that is cool sounding. One that has meaning to me. One that I can create an identity around. Mary Fran Wiley is a Darn Good Web Designer, great for a personal portfolio site, not so great for nabbing the big fish on my own. I want to sound important, because I am going to look important and be important.

I was thinking Purple Crayon Web Studio, because I, like I am sure many other people, was influenced by the book Harold and the Purple Crayon. I want to let the world (or at least my future clients) know that it all starts with a sketchbook.  Is it hokey? Perhaps.

So, I spent some time on domain name generators to come up with a name.  And that was hard work.  Most of the choices were just plain weird, but I came up with a few worth considering: Purpleurbia, Purplique or Bluedeo.

Decisions, decisions.  But this is one I need to get done this week!